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PrintI’m calling it now: If Madonna shows up to the Super Bowl halftime show with multicolored hair, 5Dimes sportsbook manager Tony Williams is going to be flooded with customer complaints.
Williams will get so many calls that he’ll have to score his latest prop offering “no action” regardless of the outcome.
Here is the prop in question:
How many drunk, obnoxious men — men who will be chasing their losses after failing to accurately predict the coin toss — will call 5Dimes and argue the scoring of this prop if they end up losing it?
It’s coming. You know it and I know it. Just imagine what will happen if Madonna shows up and half her hair is blonde and the other half is, say, pink?
Wait. Did I say half?
No. Let’s change that. What if roughly half is blonde, the other half is pink, and then there is a single strand or two of black hair found in Madonna’s scalp? Or gray hair?
Then what?
Oh, I already know what. Drunk, obnoxious man described above is going to pick up his phone, dial 5Dimes and then complain. When 5Dimes disagrees, the man will then take photos — “inconclusive evidence!” he’ll say — and send them in. 5Dimes again will disagree, and the man will call again. Then again. And soon, dozens of other people will call to complain.
It will be difficult for a neutral observer to pick a side. After all, it’s hard to calculate a full head of hair.
For 5Dimes’ sake, I hope Madonna shows up bald.
